he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
