so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
