last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
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