I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
