I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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