I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
