"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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