I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
