It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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