we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
