I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
