Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
