I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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