The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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