I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
