I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
