My friends, they love my intelligence
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
