no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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