i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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