ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I woke up under a house in Key West
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
