What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
