Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
