Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
