I think my vagina is haunted
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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