It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
