soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
