found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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