I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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