I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
