I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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