If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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