You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
