my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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