nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
