I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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