Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
