Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
