i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
