My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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