Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
