dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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