my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
