I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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