I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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