shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
