why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
