She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
