R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
