hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
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