Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
