I could make wine with my vomit
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
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