If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
